Healthy conversations and good communication are paramount to every process you ever complete in your personal and professional life.
This is how you apply for a promotion, how you resolve conflict, how you deliver positive feedback or critique a job done.
If a conversation is delivered from a place of hurt, the conversation often revolves around assumptions rather than facts. Scientifically, your brain stores these interactions as ‘bad’ or ‘intimidating’. As a defense mechanism, often you will find that you no longer speak with conviction, nor do you listen, as your brain has formed assumptions.
So if you want to perform as your better self, lead successful teams, reach goals or even get the promotion you are after……
Asking for a Promotion
Asking for a promotion can be a tough conversation. Make a plan for this discussion to occur, and then approach confidently and with conviction. If you take pride in your craft, and you know your worth, avoid putting your company’s feelings first. A good idea is to present some stats and evidence of your effort and hard work, to which they very rarely can argue. Getting to the bottom of your hesitation is the easy part, coming out with it is the challenging bit.
New strategies for a ‘different’ type of conversation
If a specific conversation with a colleague/team member/boss gives you anxiety, sit down and take note of what exactly in your interaction with them makes you sweat? Is it the tone of voice, body language, or setting in these interactions that take place? Change the conversation, work on the body language, prepare for the exchange as you prepare for a pitch, keep a calm voice and maintain eye contact; It will leave them no place to hide. The interaction will now be different.
If your team is not following your lead, ask yourself why? Is it the best way to deliver your content? Are you micromanaging? Are you delegating or handballing? Change the conversation, make your team part of the solution, ask for “hard to hear” truths with NO repercussions. Communicate your vision with clarity because they cannot fly blind. Change the conversation and see results improving, comradery growing and relationships blossoming.
Embrace the challenge
They are called tough conversations for a reason. They are challenging because most people will avoid them and push them to the back of their minds not to feel uncomfortable.
But….’Uncomfortable’ resolves debates, gets resolution, achieves goals and unblocks ruts.
So let’s change the conversation.